Coming of Age 60 years ago

12/11/2017

Sexual harassment and coming of age in the ’60s

When I was a boy becoming a man in the late-50s-early-60s, women were supposed to be sexually pure and virginal until they got married.  Before birth control pills liberated women from unintended pregnancy, a "good girl" said "no."

But, teenagers still engaged in sex with each other, risky as that might be, for risk is not much of a deterrent to youth.  How did a "good" young woman keep her good reputation if she had sex with a "good" young man?

The game was that she would say "no;" he would continue seducing; finally they would kiss, and she, overwhelmed by his romancing, would melt into his arms.  We saw that game play out in countless Hollywood movies.  The girl had plausible cover for her reputation by saying (and even believing) that she had fallen in love.

Both men and women were oppressed by these role expectations.  As a young man, I felt obliged to take the initiative and pursue a woman or remain solitarily alone.  Women wouldn't have initiated a coffee invitation.  Women had to dress and act provocatively around a man they were interested in, to incite his pursuit.  Yet, her initial reaction to his pursuit would start with a "no."  Complicated game?  Head-banging confusion!

So when Baby Boomer men get accused of inappropriate sexual misconduct - I'm talking about an unwanted embrace, not forced or coerced rape - one needs to appreciate the social mores from which those men came of age.  A few years later, those same men carried banners marching in favor of equal rights for women, but intimate, personal attitudes were slower to change.  Many men still think that any attractive looking woman has dressed provocatively to invite his pursuit.

I'm glad the change toward gender equality is accelerating at this moment, but some good men are being discharged for relatively minor infractions, along with some beastly scoundrels.  And some beasts, whose strategy is denial and denigration of accusers, continue to be given the highest public honors of the land.  That just ain't right.

Garrison Keillor said he put his hand on a woman's back to comfort her after she unloaded a tragic story, and her blouse's wide opening in the back caused him to unintentionally touch her skin.  He apologized. Yet now, she accuses him of sexual impropriety and he loses his broadcasting contract, and the archive of his work has been taken off Minnesota Public Radio's website.  Perhaps there is more to the story; MPR claims it received multiple allegations, but they have not been substantiated. Could this be an over reaction of political correctness?

Senator Al Franken's situation is more complicated. He apologized to his first accuser, the lady in the flak jacket, years ago. She accepted, and the incident was over. Now, years later, as a Republican talk-show host, she re-opens the accusation. Was she motivated by some Republican plan to denigrate effective Democratic office holders? It's complicated because other women have also accused Franken of touching them inappropriately while being photographed together. Franken has apologized saying, "I crossed a line for some women -- and I know that any number is too many." Does contrition suffice? He called for an ethics investigation - of himself - yet, the pile-on of Senators demanding he resign pre-empted a fair process. Is career destruction a just remedy?

This is what cultural change looks like. After 50 years of slow, incremental push toward treating women equally, we've reached a sudden tipping point. I'm unhappy that some good-hearted liberals have been thrown to the curb without due process, yet, I applaud women and men saying with new resolve, "it is not acceptable for a woman to be sexually harassed."  "Not acceptable" means not acceptable.
I fervently hope that the current occupant of the White House will meet a similar censure ... and soon.

COMMENTS FROM OTHERS

Rachel Schneider Agreed. Infractions of the past should be taken in context of the social mores of the time. However, infractions in the present time should be taken very seriously as social mores, societal expectations, and understanding of the consequences and damage of such actions is well-known and understood by all.

Peter Scheer Let me go out in a limb, frail with the weight of political correctness, and say that I don’t think Senator Al Franken should resign.

Not because he is a Democrat (although his good works in support of legislation strengthening women’s rights ought to count for something), but because there are degrees of culpability in all wrongdoing, and on the spectrum of offensiveness to women in general and to the individual women in the Senator’s life (taking his accusers’ allegations at face value), his actions (which are more “Animal House” than “Mad Men”) don’t warrant the political equivalent of capitol punishment.

As the revolution against sexual harassment gains strength at a speed not seen since America’s tectonic cultural shift in favor of gay rights and gay marriage, liberals must resist the temptation to treat all unwelcome male-on-female sexual advances as equally offensive. A physical assault is different than an unrequited kiss. A boss’s threat of professional retribution is different than a co-worker’s pathetic exhibitionism. The predatory pursuit of underage girls, as in the case of Alabama Senate candidate Roy Moore, is not the same as a surprise embrace of an adult woman who does not share her admirer’s ardor.

Moreover, we can’t ignore the due process rights of persons accused of misconduct just because the accuser sounds credible on TV, or because one accusation inspires other alleged victims to come forward with similar stories. Those who presume the truth of all allegations of sexual abuse should speak to the editors of Rolling Stone Magazine, or the members of Duke University’s lacrosse team.

A mistaken or fabricated accusation of sexual misconduct is devastating to the accused. And in the age of Google, the damage is permanent and inescapable.

Back to Franken . . . I’m not saying there should be no consequences for the Senator’s past behavior. He should be made to apologize. He should pay damages or a penalty. And he should stew in his humiliation. But resignation is a disproportionate punishment.

Kevin Finney He was sacrificed for the greater good of the Democratic Party. I agree with your post, and would add that the large number of women who served on his staff and spoke out saying they never experienced or witnesses a problem should count for something too. One of them said she took many of those constituent photos of Al with a female constituent without ever witnessing anything untoward. I’m not saying he is innocent, just guilty of a lesser offense in what, on balance, appears to be a record of pretty positive professional relationships with women.

Al Franken's phone number 202-224-5641 if anybody wants to leave a message...

Wilson P. Dizard In Al Franken's case, 32 women who worked with him signed a letter saying he was a gentleman. Some of Franken's accusers are suspect.
36 women who worked with Al Franken at SNL write letter of support

James Murphree There is no proof that Moore ever did anything wrong. Is this where we are in politics today. All it takes is a 40 year old accusation and you are toast.
Bruce Joffe Yup, that's what cultural change looks like. After 50 years of slow, incremental push toward treating women the same as men in our society, we've reached a sudden turning point. I'm not happy that some beloved and good-hearted Liberals have been thrown to the curb without due process. But, is applaud women and men saying with new resolve, "it is not acceptable for a woman to be treated like that." "Not acceptable" means not acceptable. I fervently hope that the current occupant of the White House will meet a similar approbation ... and soon.

Published 1-12-18 in the
East Bay Times, page A8
http://eastbaytimes.ca.newsmemory.com/?token=bX6GUz9BKCTqw4p28WjsIQ%3d%3d&product=eEditionCCT